Working With JigsawOn August 11, 2019 by Raul Dinwiddie
(Sharpens Pencil) Whats it like working with Jigsaw? Not as cool as we thought it would be May I ask you what your bill is now? Yes, I can see what I can do to lower that number I want to make you happy Hey, Janine. Yes. Jaaaneeeeeeeeninnnn. I would be happy to crunch those numbers, Just a moment i’m very sorry. (Hangs up). What? I want to play a game. Okay, well I wanna go home on time, so… Your computer has been infected with a Pornographic Virus In exactly twenty-five seconds, Jeff The Hot I.P Guy, Who you totally have a crush on, will arrive at your desk to fix it You must close all five-hundred seventeen pop-ups, using the office’s deadly computer mouse The clock is ticking Janine, Make your choice. Thank you guys, very much. Um. I wasn’t expecting a- The frosting on Dan’s Birthday Cake contains twenty-nine table spoons of Koala Urine One for each year of his pathetic meaningless life What’d he say? Hold it please. Hold it, Hold it. Hold the elevator please, ple-, please, ple-, Hold the elevator please, ple-, please, ple-, Hold the elevator. Please hold it. Just hold it. Hold the elevator. Hold it, Just hold some more. Just hold it, Hold it, Hoooollld it. Hold for one more, there’ll be room guys, There’ll be room. Nearly there, Nearly there, Nearlyyy there Nearly there. ‘Fore the doors closed. Just hold it. Hold it. Okay, just one sec, just one sec. you’re all very polite, but I just need to…Yep, uhh.. here we go. Want me to get that? I got it Steve. Look this is not the fun part of the job but uh..We’ve been monitoring office productivity, and as you can see from this research, umm.. When your games increase, General productivity around the office actually decreases It’d be different if your games had some sort of “work” related theme, like uh…Team Building Work placed energy, yeah sure, yeah sure, sure Look, all we’re asking is that you just…You know tone it down just a little. Just till corporate gets off our back, okay you know. What do you think? Yeah, Yeah nice Oh, have your legs have been chained together at the ankles. The key is to your shackle. See thats the kind of thing i’m talking about. The key is, Jeff, To your shackle Have been destroyed, Your only hope for escape is to saw off your own feet using the weapon under your chair Its uhh..its gonna be tough, gonna be tough, but its time for each of you to make a choice. Will you center eyes And work together as a team Karen? To free yourselves and spend the weekend at home with your families Or be stuck inside the office for the third time this Quarter? What’s it like living with Jigsaw? Not as cool as I thought it would be.