Team Building (w/ Crowd Reaction audio)On August 17, 2019 by Raul Dinwiddie
I am paying good money so I want to see results! Or else! Listen up! Recently, there’s been an act of thievery of burglary committed in this very office and I know one of you took it. I don’t know who but I know one of you did and if nobody comes clean tonight something big is gonna go down. Joyce! Take care of these clowns! Mr. Pham, please come with me. So, um Kong? Kuwong? Uhm. How do you pronounce your first name? It’s Cường. Ah. That’s a very peculiar name. Yeah. I guess it is, Joyce. I’ve been told that you and Mr. Ivan Li don’t quite get along. Is that true? So have you guys seen the new ‘Man of Steel’ movie yet? Uhhh. No, not yet. I mean, I feel like the DC characters, they lack a lot of depth and so I feel like they’re kinda plain. That’s why I, you know, prefer Marvel characters instead. I hate that guy. He’s an idiot. Hi, Mr. Li. Hi! My name is Joyce Jansen. I’m a private investigator hired by your boss, Joshua Gasaway I’m going to be asking you a few questions about this certain case- Excuse me, sir. Uhm. I have a question, actually. Yeah. Go ahead. Uhm. Is Joyce really your name? Isn’t that a girls name? No. It’s a unisex name like Leslie or Sam. Ohhhhhh. How would you describe Mr. Pham? Do you sense any hostility from him? Have you guys seen the new Spider-Man movie yet? Thwip thwip thwip. No, ’cause Spider-Man sucks and Marvel sucks! He’s a cool dude, actually. He does have strong opinions but uhhh that’s cool. Before you say anything My name is Joyce. It’s my first name. It is a unisex name. Oh. Your name is Joyce. I saw one of those yesterday. Ms. Kim, please come with me. Look, I know you’re new here. You might think that not telling anyone or not telling me will help you fit in with your new officemates but you could lose your job here. Honestly I think that none of these guys are capable of stealing anything from this office. I see. After five hours of interrogation you have nothing? Everyone you suspect has an airtight alibi. Without any incriminating evidence there’s not much I can do. My hands are tied. This case is effectively closed. No! No! No! No! No! I don’t care what “Joyce” says! I know one of you did it! Was it you, musclehead? Huh? Beefcake? What’s the matter? You pump too much iron? You had to carbo-load so you took my specially imported -from Japan- marshmallows and scarfed them all down? Or was it you? Huh? Chunk-a-lunk? Big boy? You got a little rumbly-grumbly in the tumbly and you just took ’em all for yourself? And you! Yeah, you! You’re so creepy. I don’t even know if you work here. And Amy Amy Amy Amy Amy Amy It hurts. We had something special and you threw it all away for marshmallows! I can’t believe my own employees would do this to me. You steal! Isn’t it crazy that I have the same last name as the owner of the company? Don’t you feel special talking to the son of the owner of the company? Excuse me, sir. I was wondering- Please! Don’t you see? I’m a very, very busy man. I don’t have time for idle chit chat. Man. Our boss is such a tool. It’s too bad we can’t do anything about it since he’s the owner’s son. Yesssss!