“STATE OF THE UNION 2020” — A Bad Lip ReadingOn February 28, 2020 by Raul Dinwiddie
***You can turn these captions on and off using the CC button below The thing is, see I could have spiked that and you’d never know Until you fainted, so… Hmmm, you got the worst chair? Huh? NO! Uh, you guys? I need to show you guys something Mike tells me this chair is the worst chair So of course you guys have got to switch them Off we go Pack up my car! Don’t break the telephone I just got it! Yay Ewww… hate you I like your scarf You look like a pear Your hand’s real smushy Hey – a giant? There’s a big giant there beside you buddy I want you to make an effort to quit being boring Hmm Because you’re a stump in a tie [cough] breath of ham Ugh, your breath hurt me I think it fried my retinas Maybe employ some freakin’ hand gestures Look, I mean it’s not so bad if you’re boring Just no one wants to be stuck around you Mm-hmm Hey, you’re a thick chunk I like your belt thing I like it very much You’re a thick white chunk A white chunk Oops! I forgot my juice – now what do I do?! Here dude EWW You too! Thanks for the jar of pickles It ain’t even enough! And I have so many other things A lot of packages I always remember to refine my glue face ‘Cause it looks good… it’s like mmmm, yeah THE FIRE WILL HAVE YOUR SOUL I had a very terrible January With a tiny giraffe who went nuts Yeah, she was just one cranky cucumber Super cranky I had planned to tell you about the Asiatic lemur The perfect, perfect animal But I’d like to give you a preview of some upcoming tweets I don’t want to know your thoughts. I want you for your silhouette The queen of flipping Ireland doesn’t ever age I should be chief of gravestones forever I go to bed in red jammie clothes, okay? When I saw the TV in my car I punched a book The turkey is bezerkiest, isn’t it? That’s a good one for the holidays I think I’m getting too young for this The janitor took all the evidence out to the country And dumped it in his pit I like our plant guy, Burt… Or Murf, yeah… The one who has the twin sisters I will never have a gluten pocket Really? That one? Hmm I will leave you now with one of my famous poems Korean shoelaces are easily made The more you got cash the more you got paid The more you eat vinegar I don’t need to smell you ‘Cause your smell isn’t good Listen to what I tell you The bees in the shed The gum on the ankle Goblin goo on the goblins And a party later for Marge. I don’t like her. We always knew you were a goober We’ve KNOWN That’s on you, Mike Trump, trump, trump trump [kiss] Oh stop! Don’t moan… eeeeeahhhh No really, don’t I killed an ant!