SEC Shorts – Teams get single wish from SEC Fairy GodmotherOn August 30, 2019 by Raul Dinwiddie
*majestic music* Wow I am the SEC Fairy Godmother. For the season is long and full of hardships but to help you on your journey A single wish I will grant you. Oh… Just one wish that’s uh… That’s actually not gonna do very much for me so uhh.. I’m just gonna…thank you. I wish to not play Georgia in November. Granted. Oh. Alright. November has been so stressful. This is gonna be a… Your new November opponent is LSU. What? I wish for infinite wishes. You can’t do that! That’s like the oldest rule in wish making. Oh really? Boys. What are you doing!? You just got off probation…. Is that a Dodge Charger? Mmmhhmm Whatever you wish I will grant. Yeah I’m actually doing pretty good maybe you could just shadow box this for me? I wish to go to a New Year’s Six bowl. Dude these are wishes not miracles. Look he doesn’t have to be automatic or anything.. Maybe just 75% from inside the 40 and maybe just one missed extra point a game. Granted! My wish is that whatever Alabama wished for They don’t get. But you don’t even know what they wished for. Doesn’t matter doesn’t matter. As long as it’s something that Alabama wants and I am taking it away from them. Don’t you think that’s a little petty? Yeah. I wish for a schedule that would impress the Playoff Selection Committee. Granted. Oh. OH MY GOD! I said impress the Playoff Selection Committee not guarantee we go to the Liberty Bowl! I wish for our bowl ban to be lifted. Oh sweetie. Do you think there’s anything magic can do against the bureaucratic inconsistencies of the NCAA’s rulings? So you want beds in the locker room? No no. They’re lockers that turn into beds. Like Transformers. Don’t you maybe want a new school library? What? Nerd. Yeah I wish for Ole Miss football to just keep sucking. That’s probably going to happen with or without me doing anything. Oh ok great! Well uh.. I guess I’ll just take some alternate unis then. Granted. I just wish for Terry Wilson to come back for his senior season. Granted. You know I’m kinda surprised you didn’t ask for another 10 win season this year. Oh wait wait. That was an option? I just want to go to a bowl game at the end of the year. Granted. Alright. Wait now… I want to actually play in the game not just go to the stands and watch another team play. You got that right? Uh huh. I wish for a schedule that will impress the Playoff Selection Committee. Oh. Alright. Oh my god. At least you got home games, bro.