Reactions to Trump’s State of the Union AddressOn January 15, 2020 by Raul Dinwiddie
-You guys, Liam Hemsworth
and Jessica Williams are my guests tonight.
-Whoa! [ Cheers and applause ] -Plus, New England Patriots star
Rob Gronkowski is here. [ Cheers and applause ] After three straight days
of partying, Gronk has no idea how
he got here. But he is here.
[ Laughter and applause ] He is here! I love that guy. The big story is still last night’s
State of the Union. I read that Trump’s speech was
the third longest ever, at 82 minutes. It was so long, even Barack Obama
was like, Uh… [As Barack Obama] This guy’s
gotta…speed things up.” [ Cheers and applause ] [ Normal voice ] That’s right.
Trump spoke for 82 minutes. he was like, [As Donald Trump]
“Wow, in that same time, I could have slept
with Stormy Daniels… 82 times.” [ Laughter and applause ] 90! 90.” [ Normal voice ] I read
that Trump’s speech was over 5,000 words long. To give you an idea
of how many that is, that’s roughly
the same word count as Adam Levine’s chest. [ Laughter and applause ] It’s long. Lot of words.
-Wow. it’s long. It’s a lot of words.
-While — While Trump was talking,
a lot of people noticed that Nancy Pelosi was actually
reading his speech. Take a look at this.
See that? [ Laughter ] She’s like a bored
wedding guest, who’s reading the program, like,
“When the hell’s this thing end? [ Laughter and applause ] “Another reading
from the Corinthians? Come on!” Did you see Bernie Sanders? He didn’t look happy
to be there. Look at Bernie Sanders. [ Laughter ] He looks like his wife
dragged him to see “Pretty Woman: The Musical.” [ Applause ] Of course,
during the State of the Union, Trump spoke using
a teleprompter. I think his staff has
finally figured out a way to get him to stick to script. Take a look at what they were
showing him on the prompter. -We are joined by one
of the Apollo 11 astronauts, who planted that flag, Buzz Aldrin. [ Laughter ]
The United States is now the number-one producer
of oil and natural gas. -There, that’s interesting.
[ Laughter and applause ] That’s right. The president sometimes
gives his speeches pretty off the cuff,
but last night, for the State of the Union,
he had to use a teleprompter — -Hey, Jimmy.
Sorry to interrupt. But I actually missed
Trump’s speech last night. I had a thing. -You had a thing? -That’s what I said. Anyway, considering
all of Trump’s anger about not getting the money
for his little border wall, it must have been insane. So, how crazy was his speech? -Well, as I was about to say,
because he used a teleprompter, it was actually
pretty restrained. -Wait, wait. Restrained? -Low key.
-Tempered? -Toned down.
-Subdued? -Sober. -[ High-pitched] Mellow?! [Laughter] -Mellow yellow. -[ Normal voice ]
That’s weird. -I know.
-Anyways… -That’s that. [ Light laughter ] -Haircut?
-Last week. -Barber shop?
-Super Cuts. -Looks good.
-Feels short. -Weekend plans?
-Nothing yet. -Wanna hang?
-Guess so. -Any thoughts?
-Man date. -Olive Garden?
-Num, num, num, num, num. -Can’t wait!
-It’s on me. -‘Cause when we’re there…
-We’re family. [ Cheers and applause ] Well… Well, after the speech,
I saw that Sean Spicer went on a TV show
that was broadcasting live from the bar
at Trump’s D.C. hotel. Did you see this? It seems like Spicer
may have had a few drinks before he went on camera. Watch this. -Before I ever was there —
Hold on. Just stop. Like, listen to me.
-Where were — You were in a — -[ Slurring ] I was —
I-I had a client meeting. And I was yelling at you,
and you barely recognized me. -[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ] -My God.
-When the anchor said, “Yeah, you should call
an Uber driver,” Spicer was like,
“I am an Uber driver.” [ Laughter and applause ]
“That’s what I do now.” And I —
-[ Laughs ] “You were yelling at me.” -“Am I a good looking guy,
you think?” And finally, I read that
Trump’s childhood home in Queens is going up for sale. Just to mess with him,
Nancy Pelosi’s gonna buy it and turn it into
a Mexican restaurant. We have a great show tonight.
Give it up for The Roots!