Politically Correct ChristmasOn August 30, 2019 by Raul Dinwiddie
– Ok, so next on our agenda, we have our
annual staff Christmas party… …and well… because of the blackface “Halloween incident”… …we’re really crackin’ the whip… …on this one. So…. – maybe we should stick to a “holiday party?” – The term party could be threatening to the IT department… – Ok, holiday team building event? – Is it paid? – Optional… holiday team building event. – Oh thats good… – Uh, John he’ll be our Santa again this year I think? – Um… Don’t you think its a little bit sexist to have a man play Santa again? – OK Jenny, you can be Santa, thats fine. – Yeah… we probably shouldn’t have any
Santas. – Ok… so just have a self-serve gift station? – Nothing too pricey.
– Six packs for the guys, Rosé for the girls. – Maybe we should have a more gender-neutral gift? like uh, like tequila, for everyone. – Actually I just got an uh, anonymous email. Someone requesting a non-alcoholic event… so… – Ugh… Carrie.
– It’s totally Carrie. – Yea. It’s Carrie. – So. We’ll have a um, class and gender neutral,
substance free, gift right? – Should we be giving the Weinsteins eight gifts?
– Eight gifts? That’s like a handout isn’t it? …Sounds like a handout. – Um, what about food?
– Food! – Potluck! … That could promote a lot of diversity… Kim can bring Chinese… – Kim is Korean… and he doesn’t cook… – I could make angel food cake?
– Too Christian… – Um, Gingerbread? – Uh, Readheads… – Fruitcake… – Jesus Christ… – Anyway I mean our dietary
restrictions list… we can’t have gluten or sugar… … or dairy, or meat so… I mean food? Meh. – What about drinks? Um, Bottled water? Maybe? – Tap water.
– Tap water! – Cups?
– Oh I have a ton of cups from my Birthday party leftover, I’ll just bring those… – Jenny! Jenny! Jenny!
– Come on! – OHHHHHHHH! – Oh, but those are red cups…
– So? – Yea, just bring clear cups. – Can we bring a, a plus one? – You have a girlfriend? – Um… Life partner…. Thanks. – Boyfriend? – Ok yeah you can bring a guest. Ok? – Oh, what if you’re single? That could trigger… – Ok, no guests! No guests. Ok? – But that’s not inclusive? – Some platonic guests are allowed. – Alright so Christmas music is is out…
– Obviously… – Uh should we… pick a date? – Oh yeah, ha ha. – Says here that, that some people actually believe Christ was born in April. – April? – If some people believe it, I believe it. – …Some Christmas party…