People Skills and Relationships with Tommy Mygrant on Training Camp with Coach Jimmy – Episode 5On August 11, 2019 by Raul Dinwiddie
Hey there and welcome to this episode of training
camp. I am your host, Coach Jimmy and we bring you the secret tips of home business pros.
I am stoked about this episode and our chit chat here because when I wanted to start this
show, I knew I wanted someone that was crazy respected in the industry. I wanted someone
that other professionals looked to. To help them build their business. And not only is
my guest today at the top of his game, he is also one of my best friends. So, this is
going to easy where we can just chit chat. I would like to introduce you all to my friend,
Mr. Tommy Mygrant. Let me tell you a little bit about him real quick. He has earned over
a million dollars in this industry; he has earned top leadership awards, and he has also
created scripts and systems that other top performers have used to help their recruiting,
to help build their teams. And that is just amazing when you have somebody that other
professionals look to. Tommy, thank you for taking some time to hang out with me today. That’s great man, I wouldn’t have it any other
way, like Jimmy said I am a great friend of Jimmy. Thank you for having me, I am honored
to come on and just share something that would be beneficial to the people listening. Awesome, and so if other pros come to you
in a home based business, is that something you always know you were going to do? Did
you get a home based business bachelor degree? I don’t think they even offer those things.
But what was your background? Well you know I never thought I would get
into a home based business or network marketing. That was not on my list of career choices.
In fact, I didn’t even it was potentially a career choice, it was actually something
I kind of stumbled into. My background is this; I have been a high school football coach
for 17 years, and if you know anything about high school football coaches is we make about
25 cents an hour to do something that we love doing. So, you know I have always been someone
that enjoyed mentoring people that is one of the reasons that I coach football. It is
also something that I found in a home based business as well. So I never thought I would
in a home based business, here I am, six and half years in, enjoying great success and
a lot of financial independence now, that I would never have otherwise had if I had
not found an opportunity in this industry. That is awesome. I think the thing we want
to touch on today most of all, and the reason I wanted you on so desperately is relationships
and establishing relationships with people. At the base of everything we do that is the
core, that is the foundation. Can you tell us a little bit, people come to you because
they think Tommy Mygrant, amazing people skills. Is this something you were just born with?
Did you just come out of the womb like, hey I know all these people, and I am good with
them or was it something you had to learn? No it was definitely something I had to learn.
I mean I think I came into this industry thinking, that I was good with people. I was really
good with talking, but I wasn’t really good at listening and things of that nature. It
was something I had to work on. To be honest with you, and I think that as long as I was
doing personal development type stuff, and working on people skills, working on leadership
skills and developing a sense of importance of relationships in this business. It was
something that I learned early on. The first two years that I was in my business, I struggled
to really make any money or to make any progress. Quite honestly, I kind of sucked with people.
My people skills were just not very good. Then I learned from a previous mentor of mine,
that this is a people business. At the end of the day, it is the relationships that take
you forward and actually build your team long term and build your income long term. I didn’t
really understand that when I first started. I thought it was all about how many people
can I get a sale with. How many people can I push into getting a product with me, or
push into signing up as a distributor with me. The reality that even those people that
did get a product, they didn’t stick around long term, they didn’t stay on the product
long term. Or they weren’t a distributor that would actually produce something in my organization.
I quickly learned I had a hole as far as how I was managing people and managing the relationships
around me. I knew that it was something I had to work on, so I got busy working on that.
Typically most people come into this business, and they really don’t have a grasp on great
relationship skills and leadership skills. For some of them, just like me, they can do
some work on that end. And listen, you don’t have to waste two years, I mean i wasted two
years trying to do this business when I really wasn’t very good with people. I would like
to say this; your income and your success are directly going to correlated to your level
of people skills. I fully believe that. That is amazing, and I think so many people
that are either already in a home based business or are watching this and it is something they
have considered, there are two things I see are pitfalls and would like you to touch on
both. Number one, they are already in one, and they are so passionate about what their
business can do or some passionate about the products, that so many people lead with that.
The part B of that is the person that is a little hesitant to get involved is because
they see this as, I don’t want to sell, or I don’t want to push on people. So, thinking
of this in relationship wise, how would you help someone get over either of those scenarios
of man, all I am doing is talking about this product where I have no friends or family
anymore. Or, the person that is like, I don’t want to sell. Well, you know, I was actually the first kind.
I was the guy that was so over exuberant about the products that we have, that I did what
we called product vomit all over people. I would just talk and talk about the products
and talk about how people had to do it and this, and that. I had to get real with myself.
How far did that actually get me in my business? Maybe I made some money here and there, but
I wasn’t building to something that would be long term residual income. What I would
tell you guys is this, this business is so much about people, and not about products.
Yes, you might get a sale now and then. You might see somebody enrolled. But you have
to start with the end in mind. And the end in mind, anytime you are talking to somebody
is this. That you want that person to be in a relationship with you for the long run.
So it is the long run value that overcomes the short term desire. Does that make sense?
So we all have this short term desire of getting a sale. A short term desire of getting someone
enrolled, but we don’t want to enroll them at the expense of the long term relationship.
Do you understand that? So a lot of people starting out, they go on just asking people
and vomiting all over people. Then they wonder why people are running around. Now the second
type of person that you described is hesitant. I would actually tell you that you are probably
the kind of person who sincerely just want to help people, and you believe in what you
do. And if you just share from the heart and you actually just focus on the people, which
is what you want to do anyway. Let it be ok for them to say yes or no and be ok with wherever
they are at. Just let them know the opportunity exists. Our job isn’t to convince people.
Our job is simply to let them know there is an opportunity that exists, whether it is
to use products or whether it is to become a distributor and make additional income.
Then give them the free will of whether they want to say yes or no to that opportunity.
The other thing we have to realize is this; most people are not going to say yes on the
first chance. It is going to take multiple times and multiple exposes for those people.
So especially new people in the industry, it can get really frustrating when you feel
like you are sharing with people. You are out there talking to people, trying to build
your team; you are trying to distribute your products and all of those people up front
are not jumping in the boat. But the reality is this, many of those people might not say
yes right now, but they might say yes down the road. So I would write this down; no is
not a no forever, it is no not right now. Many of the people, fortunately for me, in
my first month of this business I think I made $50 because I enrolled my spouse and
made her buy something. Off one enrollment and that is all I made in the very first month.
In the first 6 months, maybe a free hundred dollars. Fortunately for me, I didn’t give
up, and many of those people that I talked to in that first six months to a year, have
come around since then. Maybe they said no right up front, but this is where the relationships
come in. So you can approach people one of two ways. If you say yes, I am going to be
your best friend. If you say no, I got no use for you, I am going to slam the door on
you. What you do is actually squash the relationship because they didn’t give you want you want
from your own selfish perspective. Versus, loving them where they are at, and that is
something I always say. Learn to love people where they are at. And if they are not ready
right now, that is fine. They may be ready some time down the road. You never know what
life changes might come. Your job is to stay simply in the game. To keep planting the seeds
and to stay in the game so when the people do become ready, when they grow into it. You
are there because you never squashed the relationship. It was ok with you if they said yes, or no.
Does that make sense? I know in my business I have had many people with their first exposure
to this was three or four years ago. I think a lot of people get into this industry and
think that just because it doesn’t happen in the first three months or the first 6 months,
that they are going to throw in the towel. The reality is that most of my success in
the business, for someone that has never done a home based business before, who has never
built a team before, I don’t have any experience in this industry. I had to start from scratch
learning some new skills. Especially relationship and leadership skills. The plus thing is I
didn’t give up in those first two years, when a lot of people would. So I would just encourage
these people to; listen, put your best foot forward, be humble enough to learn some things.
A great book that they could to start with is “How to win friends and influence people”
by Darrell Carnegie. I read through that book, and I thought, I do so much of this incorrectly,
no wonder why people aren’t getting on board with me. Once I shifted some of those relationship
skills, I started seeing more success. That’s awesome, and what I love about that,
is that it is a skill that you can learn. So regardless of where somebody is right now,
you know if they are willing to invest the time. It is like anything, whether it is a
job, a sport or the arts. Nothing just comes natural. Those people that you think, or they
are naturals. I bet they put in hidden hours that you don’t know about to be good at what
they do. So what do you say to the person that thinks man, Tommy or Jimmy, you seem
like some outgoing dudes. You are great people. I don’t know if I am a great people person.
Where can that person start with improving their relationship skills? I think the first thing is starting with investing
your time into personal development. Go find the book “How to win friends and influence
people.” If there is something that you lack, first of all why do you struggle in that area
and second of all what can you do to improve it. I have had many people come in as distributors
on my team. Maybe they are not as an outgoing personality, and that is perfectly fine. Some
of my most successful distributors are actually people that started out a little bit hesitant.
But they learned along the way that they could simply learn some very simple relationship
building skills and apply those skills where it is face to face or online and they found
success with that. Relationships are about trust, about building trust. Here is the thing,
at the end of the day nobody is going to give you referrals if they don’t trust you. Does
that make sense? People are not going to say yes to you. What people need to realize is
this. No matter what company you are with in this industry, no matter what product you
represent in this industry. That within your organization, the products are the same, and
the oppatunites are exactly the same. That everybody starts at zero; nobody starts with
a huge team. Nobody starts with a huge income. You start with zero and you build it from
there. The only thing that differentiates really you from someone that is in your network
that is having a great success, first is their effort. They have a long term vision; they
are putting forth great effort. They have built a relationship with their opportunity.
They are not getting in and out. They are not trying to jump around. They are being
committed to the opportunity that they have chosen, and they are all in on that opportunity.
So that is the first thing, you have better check the relationship that you have with
the opportunity that you have that you are in. Are you all in on that specific opportunity?
Or are you all hesitant with that opportunity. Do you see what I am saying? The second thing
is that they have just gotten better and better with people. Their people skills are better.
Which means they are better with their communication up front, with the prospect. The way that
they speak is a little bit different than the way the amateur speaks. The questions
that they ask are different, and more improved, and you can learn to ask those types of questions.
You can learn to have better follow up skills. Another thing, relationships depend on your
willingness to be dependable to the person that you are in a relationship with. So are
you dropping the ball when it comes to following up? Are you scheduling appointments and not
actually showing up? After they enroll, are you doing check ins with those people after
their enrollment? Do you have contact with them, after their enrollment. Or did you just
enroll them to make your commission and then forget about them because you already got
what you wanted? If you have the long term in mind, the end in mind, especially when
you have somebody that enrolls, those are the people that you really want to nurture
and stay in touch with. So having something as simple as a weekly check-in with your people.
It doesn’t have to be a daily thing; it could be a weekly or bi-monthly check-in. But just
having it in your plan that after enrollment I need to do a weekly or bi-monthly check-in
with that person just to check-in and see how they are doing and just to have constant
contact with them. I think that is great! And just listening
to you hear, I kept going back to the person that as we know, that the people that are
the most successful with a home based business are always giving new people an opportunity
to see if this is something that is right for them or not. I thought it was so great
when you talked about that is not our responsibility if it is a yes or no, it is our responsibility
just to keep in touch to see what is going on, to follow up with those people that have
shown interest in the past. So how have these people skills and basically relationships
in others, how have they served you well in continuing to find new people. The other thing
I see where people really drop the ball, is that they are talking to the same four or
five people over and over again. That is where it does become a little skeezy, a little like,”why
are you so pushy?”. Whether that is via social media, or out in about in our daily lives.
What are some tips or takeaways that people can think of when they are interacting new
people on a daily basis? One of the best things I have ever heard was
from another industry leader and she said, “Listen, spend more time being interested
than you do being interesting.” When you are working with people, you have to ask yourself
this simple question. At the end of the day, you are going to have to learn to develop
relationships with brand new faces. Whether it is through social media, whether it is
face to face. I personally utilize both, so I use Facebook and then I use face to face,
or I am getting really good at building a relationship, building a repertoire, building
trust with somebody. That happens because of me taking interest in them, not me vomiting
what I am excited about. Not me vomiting and destroying people with my story, or my words,
or my products. Simply by taking a step and taking the end in mind, is that this person
trust me. My advice to you is this, to understand this. You are never recruiting on the first
conversation. The only thing I recruit to on the first conversation is a trusted relationship
with me, that’s it. So I am not going to mention my products right off the bat. I am not going
to mention my opportunity right off the bat. The only thing I really want to do is gain
this person’s trust, respect, and relationship so that down the road they may become a better
prospect in my organization. I think that is great. I think where people,
and this is my experience, where I have struggled in the past is feeling like I had to into
every conversation like that random conversation at the grocery store or the bank or every
interaction on Facebook or twitter with an agenda. With an expectation on how I could
turn this conversation into a way to see if this person wants to work with me. I finally
had to step away from that because it just felt icky with that. I felt very, used car
salesmen, very manipulative about how I am going to turn this. And I like what you did.
All I try to do is every time I meet somebody is to establish some trust. And I think that
is actually the case not even in a home business. Isn’t that what you want to do with anybody
in just life that you interact. With anybody. Let me just tell you a little
story that is actually using the people and relationship skills that I learned. Just learning
to build trust and respect and repertoire with people on the front end. That is actually
how I ended up moving from Ohio to Florida when getting a football job at the number
one high school in the country. Right now we are ranked number one in the entire nation.
Literally when I was talking to the head coach when I met the head coach, we talked nothing
about football. We didn’t talk X’s and O’s, we didn’t talk coaching styles. All we did
was talk about life and I built a relationship that where once I gained his trust, now he
trusted me to bring me into his organization. So a lot of times, if you feel like you get
frustrated because people don’t trust you, check yourself that maybe you are spending
more time on yourself then on them. So it comes back to spending more time being interested,
then you do being interesting. One of the tips I always give people is a pretty simple
rule to follow. Whenever you find yourself saying too much about yourself or explaining
too much. You have got two options. The first option is this,Shut up, ask a question and
listen. The second option is to get out of the conversation with that person’s contact
information. The more you are sitting there explaining about yourself or your opportunity.
You are going to ruin the chance of that person ever being in your business to begin with.
So two rules, whenever you find yourself explaining, ask a question, shut up and listen, or get
out of the conversation with their contact information and resume that conversation later
on down the line. It is so easy to get in that trap. You and
I are talkers, and it is really easy to get on rants. Something in the back of your head
goes, damn I haven’t shut up in awhile so uh *laughs*. I think that is really good Tommy.
These tips are so great. So just kind of wrapping this up, a couple of things. Number one, you
gave us a book reference before. What other ways or tools have you used to improve these
skills? Where else can people find ways to improve just their relationships with people
or understanding personality types or something along those lines. The best place I have ever learned, or went
to or attended or taken people to where you can learn people skills and learn personality
skills and learn a lot of the stuff that I actually use is at Danny Johnson seminars.
Danny is a trainer, she is independent of any company, so she just services the entire
business world, and half of what she services is the home based business. I personally attended
many of her seminars, and that is where I started learning where my weaknesses are with
people and how I could get better with them. So Danny Johnson is a great woman. She has
a book, “First Steps to Wealth” that people can plug into. She also has a free 30 day
training that you can listen to called smarternetworker.com. She is great as far as that goes. As far as
leadership skills go, I turned to John Maxwell, I love John Maxwell stuff. “21 laws of leadership”
is something I have started with and continued on. Those are another couple of resources
people can plug into, to get better in this area. That is awesome. Tommy, this has been so great.
The tip alone of ask a question, shut up or get out of the conversation. I think that
is a million dollar tip for anybody either doing this or looking to get into it and honestly,
for life. It is just so simple, I mean the fact is we
run into more brick walls because of one, even if you are just someone that is just
quiet and you find yourself saying nothing. That is equally as damaging as someone who
just talks too much and never shuts up. There is a middle ground here where even the quiet
person can learn to take interest in the other person and ask questions about them. So the
skill set is just spending more time getting to know people. Who they are, where they are
from, what they enjoy, what they like. Then learning to keep them in contact and add them
into your group of friends. Awesome! Man, Tommy this has been great and
I really appreciate investing time I know you are right here in the middle of football
season, and I love the fact that is what you do. You are a football coach. You have been
able to create this and earn over a million dollars with your home business in the middle
of being a football coach, and being a husband, and a dad. You are just a real dude in your
house, chit chatting with us. I think that is so important for people to see, a top producer
in this industry, and a leader that other top producers in this industry look to, to
continue to get better, is just a regular dude. So if somebody is watching this or listening
to this and they think I really connect with Tommy. How can somebody learn more or connect
with you at? If they just want to google me, go to Facebook and look up Tommy Mygrant.
Typically Instagram or Facebook are the best ways to get in touch with me. That is awesome guys, and we will put the
information, well if you are watching the video version of this, or the show notes on
the podcast. That way you can get a hold of Tommy. I encourage you to. I have known this
guy for a long time, like he said he is one of my best friends and he is good people through
and through. He and his entire family. Thank you again Tommy. Guys, that wraps up another
episode of training camp, I hope you enjoyed that. If you are digging this series and you
are like this stuff is legit, I could really use this stuff. I am going to encourage you
to subscribe number one, and share with somebody else that can get a lot out of this as well.
So thank you Tommy and until next time, we’ll see you guys. Take care.