Late Night Dioramas: Trump’s State of the Union, Brad Pitt and Jennifer AnistonOn March 6, 2020 by Raul Dinwiddie
-Here at “Late Night,” we talk a lot about the news. But not everyone
is an auditory learner. Some people
retain information better when it’s presented visually. So to make sure those viewers have caught everything that’s
happened so far this year, two of my writers,
Jenny Hagel and Amber Ruffin, have created some visual aids, and they’d like
to present them now in a segment called
“Late Night Dioramas.” ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] Hey, everybody!
Say hi to Amber and Jenny. -Hi!
-Hi, everybody. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Oh, guys. Oh! I can’t wait to see the dioramas
you guys have made. -We can’t wait
to show them to you. -We worked very hard on them.
-Okay. Just to make it clear
to everyone here, I have not seen these before. -He absolutely has not.
-Great. So I have not signed off on them
or agreed to them. Great.
-Nope. -So tell us, guys — what’s
happened so far this year? -Oh, Seth,
you’re not gonna believe this. -Okay.
-It’s only March… -Whaaa?!
[ Laughter ] -…and already
so much has happened. Now, let’s start off with the
State of the Union address. Why, it’s the biggest news
of the year. -[ Laughing ] Okay.
-President Trump gave it last month, and a bunch of stuff
happened during it. Now, I could tell you about it, or I could show you
with this diorama. -Oh, wow, look at that.
Very beautiful. [ Cheers and applause ] -It’s stunning. Now, here’s President Trump,
and he’s giving his speech, and he’s like,
“I’m the best President who ever presidented.” And then,
here are the Republicans, and they’re like,
“Four more years! Four more years!” And then over here
is Brett Kavanaugh, and he’s like, “Four more beers!
Four more beers!” [ Laughter ] And then here’s Melania,
and she’s giving the Medal of Freedom
to Rush Limbaugh. And to the Grinch.
[ Laughter ] And to Skeletor!
-Oh, wow! -And then Trump
finally finishes his speech, and Nancy Pelosi takes it,
and then she does this with it. -[ Laughs ]
[ Cheers and applause ] Wow!
It’s a tiny — a tiny shredder. -She’s so mad. And then, the next day,
Trump tweeted about so much — about what a good job he did
that his fingers fell off. -Oh, wow.
[ Laughter ] That’s really something, guys.
-Thank you. -What would you call that?
-Oh, man. This is a diorama.
-All right, okay. [ Cheers and applause ] Very nice diorama, guys.
Oh, hi, Jenny. [ Laughter ] -Okay, Seth.
Here’s another big story. -Great. Very exciting. -Earlier this year,
the Pope was greeting a crowd in Vatican City
when one super-excited woman grabbed him
and wouldn’t let go. So he slapped her.
That’s a real story. -Wow.
-Is it hard to picture? -It is hard to picture. -Then take a look
at this diorama. -Oh, wow.
[ Cheers and applause ] -That’s right.
-Very nice. -Okay.
So here’s the Pope, and he’s like,
“Hello. I don’t have sex.” And then, here’s a crowd, and they’re like,
“You’re a very good man!” And then here’s
a bunch of gay people, and they’re like, “Is he?” [ Laughter ] And then here’s a bunch of women
who want to take birth control, and they’re like, “But is he?”
[ Laughter ] And then this lady
is grabbing him and she’s like, “I’m your biggest fan!”
and he’s like, “Nope!” [ Slapping ] -Wow. So it was a lot of slaps.
-Yeah, there was a couple more. [ Slapping ]
-[ Laughs ] Okay. -And then here’s Jesus,
and he’s like, “Please don’t tell people
we’re friends.” -Okay. Wow.
[ Laughter ] That’s really great.
-Yeah? -And what would you guys
call this? -I think I would call it, if I
had to choose a word, a diorama. -Oh, absolutely.
[ Cheers and applause ] Absolutely.
-Beautiful. Meanwhile, in sports news,
the Houston Astros were caught up in a huge
cheating scandal recently when people found out
that they’ve been stealing signs from opposing teams…
-I heard about this. -…and using elaborate methods
to communicate those signs to their batters.
-Uh-huh. -Now let’s see what that looked
like with this…diorama. -Wow.
Look at this. All right.
-“Wow” is right. Now, here’s the Astros, and
they’re playing the Nationals. And the Nationals’ catcher
flashes the signal to the pitcher,
and then the Astros catch that signal
on this video camera, and then that feed goes into
this TV monitor. And then that causes this player
to bang on a trash can, and then that cues this player
to release a carrier pigeon. And he has a message,
and he flies — he flies. The carrier pigeon,
he flies up — yeah! — he flies on the — he flies. -Yeah. Okay, great.
Oh, wow. -And then he drops a little note
that says “curve ball.” -Wow! -Now, here are baseball fans,
and they’re like, “We have never seen anything
this shady.” And then, here’s Barry Bonds,
and he’s like, “I have.” [ Laughter ] Now, when I told
our legal department that we were making a diorama
about how the Astros cheated, they made me add this. -Oh, wow.
[ Laughter and applause ] Fantastic, guys.
Really, really well done. -Thank you.
-Yeah. -And that’s…a diorama!
-Wow. Wow. [ Cheers and applause ]
Way to go. -All right. Next up.
-Okay. -Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston
ran into each other recently at the S.A.G. Awards.
-Yeah. -You guys know
what I’m talking about. -Right.
-And when Brad — Yes. When Brad saw Jen,
he grabbed her wrist, and everyone freaked out
and was like, “Oh, my God. Are they getting back together?” Now, this is just
a little story, so I explained it
with this pocket diorama. -Oh, a pocket diorama.
[ Laughter ] -Just a little pocket diorama. So here’s Brad Pitt,
and here’s Jen, and you can see
they’re on a red carpet. And then, Brad is like,
“Hey, Jen. Wait up.” And there’s this, like,
tension between them. -Sure, sure.
-Can you feel the tension? -Well, I can see it, yeah.
-You can see it. You can feel it.
And then, finally, he grabs her wrist and…
-Ooh! -…sparks really fly.
-That’s fantastic. [ Cheers and applause ] -And it’s, like, hot, right? You can feel there’s, like,
some heat between them? -No, I can still feel the heat.
-Can you feel it? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Can you feel it? You know how hot it is
between them? -How?
Oh! [ Audience “Oohs” ] [ Laughter ] -I waited till your hand moved.
-Thank you. Thank you very much, Jenny. And now,
what would you call that? -Two things.
I would call it a fire hazard… -Uh-huh.
-…and I would call it… a diorama.
-A diorama. [ Cheers and applause ]
Wow. That’s great. Bye.
Bye, guys. -And, finally,
let’s be honest, Seth. The biggest story
of the year so far was when Prince Harry
and Meghan Markle announced that they are stepping back
from their roles in the royal family
and moving to Canada. -Right.
-Now, you can learn all about this in this diorama.
-Oh, my God. Look at this. All right.
[ Applause ] -Yeah. You’re dang right
look at it. Okay. So, here’s Prince Harry,
and here’s Meghan Markle. And they’re like,
“We are out of here.” Now, over here
is Kate Middleton, and she’s like,
“Please take me with you.” [ Laughter ]
-Okay. -And then, over here is the
British press, and they’re like, “Who are we going to write
racist stuff about now?” -Okay.
-And then over here is a bunch of corgis,
and they’re like, “Don’t you think these people
are a little too into us?” [ Light laughter ]
-Okay. -Now, Harry and Meghan didn’t
give Queen Elizabeth a heads-up that they were gonna make
this big announcement, so here’s what she looked like
when she heard it. [ Laughter ] -Her face got — [ Laughter and applause ] -She got cartoon angry. -Cartoon angry.
-Yeah. And here’s what it will
look like when they leave. [ Laughter and applause ] -Oh, wow! Well, they landed —
They landed in — Oh, there she is.
That’s great. Well done, you guys.
-Thank you. -I really feel like
I learned a lot. And what would you say
was the name of the tool that provided me
with all this knowledge? -A diorama!
-A diorama! [ Cheers and applause ] And I do want to make
one thing clear. The two of you made all of these
dioramas by hand, right? -Seth, we absolutely did not. The art department did.
Please give them a huge hand. -All right. Give it up
for “Late Night Dioramas”! Give it up for Amber and Jenny,