June “I put toy cockroach on Minsoo’s cake for fun” [Happy Together/2019.06.13]On March 14, 2020 by Raul Dinwiddie
I hear you were disappointed – after your marriage. / – Really, Heejeong? I wasn’t disappointed per se. – Then what? / – While sleeping, I sensed that something was off. I opened my eyes and saw a cricket near my head. It was right there. – I’m already nervous. / – I’m terrified of bugs, so I screamed at the top of my lungs, but he also screamed and jumped on the bed. He even jumped on the bed? – I’m sorry. / – It’s so embarrassing. (He just bites his tongue.) I told him to catch the cricket, but he wasn’t able to. So I went outside and got him a container. It’s hard to kill it anyway – and it’s scary. / – Right, it’s scary. I gave him the container and closed the door. – Oh, my. / – So… How could she do that to me? How could she just close the door? – And for four hours… / – What? – He couldn’t catch it. / – For four hours? You could’ve befriended the cricket. Morning drew upon us and the sun rose. I opened the door and saw that he had caught it. He couldn’t move it though. – In case he squashed it? / – So we slid a piece of paper underneath and let it out the window. His four-hour struggle is shocking, but so is the fact that you stayed outside. You could’ve helped. Minsoo, aren’t you scared of bugs? Not really, but I hate cockroaches. – You’re scared of them? / – Just them. – I see. / – The others are fine, – but not cockroaches. / – Why? – I just hate them. / – How do you react then? – I pass out. / – Really? – He does. / – He faints? – After seeing them? / – I can’t breathe. – Is it that severe? / – My muscles tense up. Since he is terrified of cockroaches, I prepared a surprise birthday cake for him. On top of a white creamy cake, I placed rubber cockroaches… – I know what they are. / – Was that necessary? – They wiggle about. / – They were moving. – That’s how rubber is. / – So I placed the cockroaches on the cake and stuck some of them inside so that they were poking out. I put the cake back in the box and held a surprise birthday party for him. It was supposed to be a prank, and so he saw the cake with cockroaches on it. – It was hilarious. / – She’s loving this. But still… In front of my very eyes, I saw six cockroaches. – That’s harsh. / – How did Minsoo react? The response was incredible. His reaction was so hilarious. So when I want to play a prank on him, I use the big monitor in one of our rooms. A cockroach would most likely be on the corner, so I stick a rubber cockroach there and let it hang. When he spots it, he’s like, “What’s that?” – Why are you so mean? / – You know, you make his life quite hard, don’t you? Well, life has made me this cruel. (Life has made me cruel.) (He shakes his head.) Changhwan, I heard that because of your mood swings, you didn’t know that your wife was pregnant. Actually, I’m not the one who has mood swings. Heejeong then? She has really severe mood swings. One day, she suddenly wanted to order fried chicken. – She had a craving. / – So I did, and we started eating. But then she asked why I ordered it. What? I didn’t know what to make of that. She told me in tears that she gained weight because I made her eat the chicken. I had an audition for a movie the next day. – That’s right. / – You had an audition? So I argued that he should’ve stopped me. After eating all the fried chicken? – You were wrong then. / – After she had finished. – She enjoyed it too. / – Why would you let her? Anyway, since I had to appease her, I kept apologizing but she wasn’t having it. Her actions just felt a little weird to me because they weren’t those of a human being. – Not a human being? / – Though she was angry… Yes, despite the situation. That’s why I got thinking. I did the math and figured out that there was a possibility. First, I got her to calm down and told her that we should – take a test tomorrow. / – That was nice of you. (Let’s take a test tomorrow.) So we took a test the next day. – Was it positive? / – Yes, we found out that she was pregnant and I felt sorry for ordering the chicken. I took her in my arms for a warm embrace. How can we not call him – an angel? / – He’s Angel Ahn. You really are an angel. Your wife was experiencing a craving, but her reaction was quite adorable. Do you want to know how my wife was like? She asked me to buy her some sherbet. – Sherbet? / – At night. I wanted something sweet and sour. That’s what you wanted. I told her that I understood and bought three boxes of sherbet with different flavors. Other stores were closed, so I had to go to a hotel. Anyway, I came home with all that sherbet. She told me to eat it all in front of her so that she could enjoy it indirectly. – Oh, that. / – She told you to eat it? – What? / – Really? You shouldn’t have bought so much. – That’s not it. / – She told me to eat it. That’s not what happened. Goodness. I used to be an actor, right? You’re still an actor. I had morning sickness. She told me to eat it all. I bought four boxes with 12 cartons of sherbet each. – He didn’t eat it all. / – I did. – He didn’t. / – I had morning sickness. I endured all the cravings instead too. Whatever show we’re on together, and I doubt we’ll ever be on one together again, but… – Hold on. / – Let’s keep listening. It’s as if you’re bringing us your online show. We won’t ever be on a show together again, so I’m not holding back while I’m here. – So did you eat it all? / – What happened? – You see… / – She told me off, – But… / – That’s how it started. She took me to the dressing room again. – Oh, my gosh. / – Is that where she yells? – That’s not it. / – Do you scold him – in the dressing room? / – You’re getting the wrong idea, but that’s not the case. There’s no place you can escape to. – It’s… / – You’re this close. She’s in my face like so. “Do you know what you did wrong?” That’s not it. He’s overacting. She corners me and I get pushed back. She then asks if I still don’t know. Do you know what the highlight of it is though? – No. / – What does she say? “I’ll rip your head from your anus.” What? She’ll rip your head from where? I feel like I’m watching a play. Should we help out with this scene? It’s one that has the audience join in. I’ll copy what she does, so imagine this. – Is this a movie? / – Did you really say that? Can you imagine how much I had to endure while living with him? – Right? / – Sure. So rather than actually cursing, I thought of a way to fully express what I’m feeling. Did you come up with it yourself? It’s nothing bad. It’s just an expression. (It’s an expression I came up with.) So you weren’t cursing? – Of course not. / – But you still said it. Do you not think that this is swearing? – No? / – So is it something that you thought about in advance? How do you think I relieve stress? In order to do so, I need to startle him. – Well, I’m shocked. / – That’s why I thought it’d be best to come up with a phrase that he could actually visualize. You kind of did it right now. – So that’s why… / – It must be painful. I’m telling him not to make me say these things. Could you perhaps – say the expression? / – No way. – So… / – Go ahead. I’d like to feel that emotion again. Will you edit this out for me? – Yes, of course. / – Are you sure? – We’ll add beeps. / – Just do it for us. Cue! Don’t say anything that’ll make me want to rip your head from your anus. You said it in this subtle tone? – It’s scarier. / – Really? It’s even more terrifying. Just imagine the head getting ripped out. Isn’t it original though? – But… / – Right? I guess it doesn’t sound like swearing in one way. Can you pray for me? – Sorry? / – He wants prayer. – A prayer? / – Yes. Hold on. This is out of the blue. I don’t know about anything else, but I want to give him a warm hug. – Give him a hug. / – My goodness. I know it hasn’t been easy. (Minsoo, you held up well.) – So… / – What does that make me? It’s not… How could you hug him in front of me? I had no idea that this was happening behind closed doors. As you know, we all think Minsoo is rough and tough. However, he gets scolded at home.