How Clubbing Prepares You for Motherhood | #MOMTRUTHSOn December 25, 2019 by Raul Dinwiddie
Uhhhh Momtruth Friday guys. and this is how, yes, clubbing prepares you for motherhood. They’re actually the exact same. But wait, one’s a lot more fun. You know it really does prep you for what’s coming. So all you young’uns out there who are in the middle of your clubbing days… Keep doing it. You’re actually… Do it every night. Do it all the time. Do it all the time you’ll be ready to have the baby if you just keep clibbin’. Should we break it down? Break it down. Cus it is a momtruth Friday. You wake up in the morning feeling like you haven’t slept all night long. You actually haven’t slept all night and there may or may not be someone in your bed and you’re not sure how they got there or when they got there. I guess as a parent you look over and you kinda hope that it’s the good kid and when you’re a clubber you look over and you hope it’s the hot guy. There’s usually a girl curled up in a corner somewhere bawling. You’re not sure why they’re mad. You’re not sure if you’ve made them mad or you’re not sure if they’re mad at you… But she’s definitely overly emotional and crying. And inconsolable! Like you’re just not sure. You don’t even know what to say to them and if you try to approach them they’re most likely going to scream at you. Like a wild beast. There’s shots. Lots of shots, shots, shots shots! I mean one’s with alcohol… And one is with espresso. You get drinks spilled on you, Guaranteed. Spilt on you, spilt around you… Spilt on the floor… Everywhere! Sticky everywhere. Just spilled drinks. Gross. On you. Over you. When you’re clubbing you don’t care so much. No. When it’s apple juice and you’re supposed to go to a meeting… It’s not funny! It’s not as fun. You’re not laughing as hard. No. Guys, there is always someone running around with no pants, no top or, no clothes at all. Always. Guaranteed. You don’t eat anything until the latest time of the night and then you scarf your face. You scarf as much as you can. The more unhealthy the better. It is sooo loud you actually can’t hear anything. It’s surround sound! You can never get into the bathroom without drama. Like, you’re not going to the bathroom on your own, ever, and there’s always gonna be drama getting to the bathroom. All kinds of drama. Yeah, yeah. All kinds! And then when you’re in the bathroom usually there’s some chitchat in the bathroom.. That makes for more drama. It takes forever to get out of the house. Do your hair, your makeup when you’re young… and then getting the kids ready when you got the kids… It’s the same thing. When you were getting ready to club though, you got to cocktail. You know personal space? Gone! Forget about it. There’s always somebody touching you. Get off of my body. It’s my body. See this? This is my body. It’s my space. Don’t touch my… When your clubbing you want the touch. Everybody come to my body. Someone’s always barfing. Barf. Smells like barf. Feels like barf. By the end of the day someone has barfed. And the last one we’re gonna leave you with… Someone in the room is doing something most definitely naughty and most likely nasty. Oh you nasty girl! Yeah, yeah. Were you naughty or nasty? Just naughty. I’ve never been to a club. I’m like the angel. Except for that one time… We’re going to say, clubbing for the win! Although they’re exactly the same do it Do it a lot. It’s the best preparation you’ll ever get for motherhood. Like. Share. Subscribe.