Ep 1 – Fall | Better Together @awfulapartOn February 28, 2020 by Raul Dinwiddie
Hi. I ordered a cake for Farah and Nadya. Sure. Just a moment. It’s me and my best friend, fist bumping. It’s an inside joke. It’s something we don’t ever really do, you know, we don’t have a rule against it, we just don’t do it, it’s not something that comes up. But this one time we were playing pool and we got so in to it and the game was so intense and we won, and so we went and fist bumped. And that’s when we realized – Yeah, we gave your cake away. What? Well, somebody else ordered a picture cake and I think the tickets got mixed up and we gave them your cake. Oh, man. OK. Well, what do we do now? I can give you a refund and then we’ll get started on a new cake right away. Uhm. What about this one? What kind of cake did this guy get? Uh.. Erotic? In a very picturesque sort of way… OK, I’ll take it. Are you sure? Yeah. You got it. Thank you. Yeah. Well, have a wonderful day. So I’m excited. I think it’s a sign. I mean, he’s got mommy issues. I’m a commitment phobe. It could work. What do you think? Uhm I don’t…? Oh, so Farah really moving now, huh? Yeah. She’s not like moving out. Like she’s moving all the way to fucking California. Yeah. Like, you’re okay with that? Why wouldn’t I be okay with that? You guys are like the dynamic duo. You’ve been away for so long. You’re like peanut butter and jelly. You’re like, I don’t know, Donald Trump and racism. You just go together. Can I see that? First of all, I’m not five years old. I’m gonna be fine. I’m really excited for her. Yeah but bishop, It’s OK to admit that you’re gonna be a little lost without her. I know it’s OK to admit that it’s just – like people move. They don’t just stop calling or texting or talking on the phone or being friends all together. Like, we’re gonna be fine. I’m gonna go get some chips. I’ll help them. Why do you give him so much power? You know, he’s just trying to get a rise out of you. I know. And did Ryan just call you bishop? It’s the robot from aliens. You guys have weird pet names. I think he’s trying to say that I don’t show my emotions. Oh, that’s cute, I guess. So you’re excited about him moving in on Thursday? You just take some of this, from your nose. Both sides you want like this. It dissolves. Let me try yours. Excited? Oh, Farah’s on her way in. Oh, everybody. Everybody get ready. She’s here. Coming up. We got. Hey, guys,. They just did that on their own. Wait, why don’t youlook surprised? Why doesn’t she look surprised? It’s not a surprise party. I’m the one who sent out the E-vites. Oh, right. I told you where to get the cake. Do you guys want to do over? I could act more surprised. Oh, fuck, do-overs. We’re gonna do shots. Welcome Holy shit. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys about the cake. Which one of you is supposed to be which? I guess would be the darker penis. It’s more my skin tone. Does his sack have abs? Why is that one so curved? I honestly didn’t know you could fit that many abs in a stomach. Hey I have that many abs. I think he just has less skin. I’m strong too.. Yeah you are. I’ll take a thigh. I’ll take a nipple. Where’s the nipple? So did you talk to her yet? About what? About you moving out, about Ryan moving in about what all that means? Uhm no.. You should. Why? We have an unspoken thing. Plus, we don’t we want to make it emotional, Nadya’s like really bad goodbyes. Are you crying? Coach died. What coach? Coach Pantusso. From cheers? You’re just gonna have to rip the Band-Aid off and talk to her then. Turns out I’m not that good at goodbyes either. Wait, so who left your office? No, the office. Michael moved with Holly and Pam didn’t get to say goodbye. Yeah, that episode was rough. But
Will Ferrell joins. He’s pretty funny. No he’s not! And those were fictional characters, Jelisha We didn’t have to deal with those goodbyes in real life. Although Nicholas Colasanto really did die, that sucked. You guys are way too close to not be able to share with each other how you feel. I just don’t understand why that’s necessary. Because you’re on the other side of the country and you don’t want to leave with this being an unspoken thing. Make it spoken. Farah, Nadya. You bitches are my bitches. Does she know we’re not over there? I don’t think so, but please don’t bring attention to it. I literally could not do another shot. That sounds good, though. Hey, how’s it going? I found a
ukelele. I swear I’m going to bring that thing over his head. Aww he’s just a guitar player. He’s probably more comfortable with it in his hand. It’s douchey. Avi is a drummer. He doesn’t walk around banging sticks all over everyone’s head. I just relized that Monday is going to be the first time I miss your set. Yeah, I guess so. Do you think I should say? To see us play the same set at the same bar you’ve been to 100 times. I don’t think so. Oh my God, I forgot to tell you. We’re opening for Drake on Monday. What?! Obviously not. Oh. I’m serious though, LA could be a
mistake. You know, it’s not. You have a bad ass job lined up. Your apartment is amazing. You’re gonna kill it. I don’t know about badass, it’s me and five dudes and some computers. It’s the tech industry. It’s literally on the beach. That’s true, I could get a tan and finally be brown again. I’m already jealous. OK. So I don’t really want to do this either, but… You’re thinking that we should have more Penis cake. I am right there with you. Thank you. I can’t believe how good this cake is. It’s really is. Sorry about that cashier. Farah! Get the fuck up. Farah. What’s going on? Your flight is in an hour. How did that happen? We planned a party before a 7 a.m. flight, that’s how she’s. Dude why did we do that? Cause we’re idiots,. Let’s go. We’re mostly packed. Anything we forgot, I can mail to
you. Is your Uber here yet? Minute out. I actually think you’re going to make it. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I know. Is that him? Make sure that you text me when you make it. I’m worried that security is going to stop you. You can text me honestly if you’re bored at the gate. I’m free any time. Really. Have a safe flight, OK? Bye. Obviously. I sound like a fucking Hallmark greeting card.