Donald Trump’s State of the Union Address First Draft OuttakesOn February 8, 2020 by Raul Dinwiddie
-Last night was
President Trump’s State of the Union address,
which we all saw on TV. But it turns out he did
a rehearsal of the speech earlier in the day. And we actually got our hands
on the footage. -Oh.
-Yeah. And it was
quite a bit different. But take a look. -Thank you, thank you
for joining me at my State of Reunion. -Okay, Mr. President.
So, it’s State of the Union. -Yeah-huh.
-Yeah, so let’s try it again. -Thank you for joining me
at my Staycation Union. -No, it’s State of the Union.
Again. -Thanks for joining me
at my Steak on the Onion. -What?
-To my fellow Americans and my one Russian. -Nope. Cut.
-What? First things first, I’m going
to tell you the name of tonight’s designated survivor
and their precise location. -No, please don’t tell us that. -Okay, I won’t,
but it is Don Jr., and he’s at a Dave & Buster’s. Which tie do you think
I should go with? Red? Extra long red? Or Fruit by the Foot? What’s up, guys?
It’s me, Donald Trump. And you’re watching
my YouTube channel. Don’t forget to subscribe
and smash that Like button. Should we print this
on unrippable paper just in case someone
tries to tear it up? -Uh, no,
we don’t need to do that. -Okay. We’ll see. I’m just glad they started out
the caucuses in Ottawa. -Oh, it’s Iowa.
-Ohio. -No, I-O-W-A. -E-I-E-I-O. That’s what I said.
Lot of great farmers. I love the caucus and all the caucus-ian people. Usually when Caucasians vote,
it goes my way. -Cut! [ Beep ] -When I say “four more,”
you say “years.” Four more. Four more. We’ll fix it in post, right? I’ve made so many achievements. Like this morning,
I did that thing where I got my shoes on
without having to undo my laces. I just shoved my feet in there
and kind of wiggled them around, and eventually,
they fit right in. I achieved both shoes. What are we doing now? -We’re gonna practice
shaking Nancy Pelosi’s hand. -Okay. Psych. [ Speaks indistinctly ] And then this part
we put on TikTok, right? [ Laughter ] Am I doing it right? I’m gonna need a pick-me-up.
Someone Coke-Energy me. [ Slurping ] [ Laughter ] Okay, thank you for watching. You can stream my speech
on YouTube, Hulu, or the Shadow app.
-Okay. -And then I’ll do
the dance again, right? We’ll go back to the dance?
-Sure. ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ]