Co-Workers Improv ComedyOn October 21, 2019 by Raul Dinwiddie
What we need from you guys is, we
just need… a job or an occupation. [Audience] The guy that runs the lumber section at Home Depot The lumber section at Home Depot? We’re out of pine again. We’re out of pine… Okay, so what are you going to do about it? Well, I thought maybe that you could put in the order this time since I put it in last time. What does my badge say? Supervisor. What’s your badge say? Associate. Yeah… Listen, this isn’t Best Buy. We’re not techies. This is Home Depot, we’re men! Act like a man. Oh my god! A heart over the “I”? I can teach you how to do that… I know how to write. Really? Yeah. I don’t need your help. Then why did you ask me to fill out your application on your first day? Cause it’s stupid. I didn’t want to do it. We’ll use these as flash cards. Oh boy. What word is this? That’s cheating. That’s not even in the alphabet, I know. It absolutely is… That’s… That’s not real. That’s a “D” with a slash through it. That’s not real. That’s saying “No D”. “No D” Roger, this is an “R”. It’s what your name begins with. Alright, what do you struggle with most being a man? Let’s pretend I’m a girl. Hey big boy. Are you Betty Boop? You gotta be mean to get her to like you. That works? Yes! At Home Depot, anything goes. Hey… Chubs. Oh, you’re so rude. It’s so sexy! Maybe we could… Go get some… Breakfast with fruit on the side… You know, cause you’re… Oh, are you calling me fat? My clothes are off! Nice, dude. That was perfect! I… I only date insecure women, cause I’m insecure and I don’t want someone confident. That’s surprisingly great insight for you. Yeah, well… I listen to a lot of podcasts. You know what? You took the first pen on the day you became a man. That’s a landmark for me. Are you saying I passed your… Masculinity test? Oh, no.