Clubs nerven! | MarshellOn December 26, 2019 by Raul Dinwiddie
Let’s make things clear. It’s absolutely unnecessary to party in clubs I have told myself so many times:
‘Hm, maybe it’s going to be better this time?’ And in the end it was a huge dissapointment Let’s start off with this huge row you have to face if you want to get into the club At the entrance you are greeted by these friendly looking security guys… If they are in a good mood they do not even let you in for whatever reason “Who are you to tell me that I am not allowed to bring my MaxBay hat into your club?” And do not even try to get a waterbottle into the club. If you even try to bring this thing across borders you will be greeted like refugees by Donald Trump Now you are in. Depending on what time it is the club is gonna be A: empty as fuck or B: Crowded as hell Something in between does not exist. Let’s go to the dance floor! Well… You can cross out dancing because it is gonna be so crowded that you are not even able to move an arm pit On the dance floor itself people are doing everything…. Except dancing In addition most DJs are playing music as if you’re calling a phone hotline ‘For the next track please press 6… 9….’ Okay. To be fair. Some of them do have nice tracks Let’s talk about money! All this dancing has made you thirsty that’s why you’re going to the bar for a Sex on the Beach Based on these prices I could buy myself real sex on the beach! Well… maybe you meet a friend of yours at the bar But most likely it will be way to loud to even understand what this person is saying Therefore you’re going to talk outside the club … but why have you entered it in the first place then? Let’s be honest. Why do women go clubbing? You can surely expect… after 3 meters… There’s this one guy grinding his crotch between your ass cheeks It seems like these guys are on a secret mission waiting for the right moment to attack ‘Agent 69, can you hear us? The booty has been localized’ ‘It’s on the floor, repeat on the floor. You need to finish this mission as quick as possible!’ It gets even more dangerous if these guys insist on giving you a drink ‘Aehm.. why is there steam coming out of this glass?’ ‘Mon cherié. Do you know Bill Cosby?’ ‘Rrrrrrrr~’ Last but no least there are these guys who can’t control how much alcohol they drink Resulting in a violent or unpredictable behaviour And do not get me even started with these toilets There is one interesting thing After a while women are going to conquer men’s place. I can’t work under these conditions! Call me old or boring. But I would prefer gaming with you guys, eating pizza and beating your ass in monopoly anytime over clubbing And the best thing about that: We can do it in baggy clothes So…. Who’s with me?