Civ 6: New WorkersOn October 9, 2019 by Raul Dinwiddie
*Wind Chimes* Hey. Hey new guy. Uh, well actually I’ve been doing this for a few centuries. Uhm, but then your country recently defeated mine, so I guess I’m technically new. Or technically you’re new, but that tha- that’s splitting hairs. Yeah yeah, so the others have informed me that you’re not building up to code. What? -Hey.
-How’s it going?
-He did it. You put up Stonehenge, right? Uh yeah. And you didn’t see anything wrong with it? Well some of the rocks are knocked over, but that’s part of the aesthetic, I think. You built it in the ocean. Not next to the ocean, which still would a’ been wrong, but in the ocean. Oh yeah! Me and the guys called that seahenge, back before they betrayed me. Yeah, it’s not a clever name, but it does have the word “sea” in it. Okay well, “seahenge” is not up to regulation, you can’t just build wonders anywhere you want to anymore. I should probably cancel the Statue of Libersea then. That one’s actually supposed to go in the ocean. Listen, I need you to pay attention to these things. We have limited space, and every hexagonal yard counts. What are you building right now? It’s just a farm. Why? You’re supposed to be building a barracks. Oh yeah, it’s just, it just looks nice when they’re all lined up. You know, and you can never have too many farms. How many have you built? Just six, I’m halfway done, almost. No, you’re done now. Listen, we have to build districts. Districts are the new priority, and once those are done, we put new things inside of them, and we don’t decide where any of it goes. That never caused any problems before, what if I wanted to put a coliseum halfway inside a wall or something? That is the problem! You are the problem. Build each thing in its designated area, end of discussion. Well maybe I can do roads then. I tend to perform best when the work is repetitive, but the functionality is open to creative interpretation. We don’t do roads anymore, they got outsourced to… merchants. Which I guess makes sense, but it just feels wrong. What’s even left to do then? If you want something repetitive I can put you on repair duty. The northern mine is on fire right now. I just put that out this morning. If you wanna complain to the barbarians, they’re probably still there. You know, I’ve had enough of this. Being a worker sucks. Watch your language. Ah, I’m sorry, I’m from a different time. Being a builder sucks. Anyway, I quit. Wha- you can’t quit. Well, you know what I mean, I’m gonna go hide in the capital until they forget I exist. All these regulations are supposed to make your life easier, why are you complaining? Well they didn’t do a very good job of it. I can’t work another thousand years in these conditions. Just let me know when the next invasion starts. We don’t even have infinite contracts anymore. Listen, if you just finish these barracks you can probably retire. Yeaaaaah! Ta-da ♫Living Forever (Revisited)♫