Business Daddy YouTube | 2020 | Die LATELY SHOW mit Florian Strzeletz | SATIREOn February 17, 2020 by Raul Dinwiddie
From the Capital News Studios in Berlin
The LATELY SHOW with Florian Strzeletz – Welcome to the LATELY SHOW with me Florian
stress injury As this is the first SHOW of the new year, I thought
I’m sure tonight we’ll do it differently. and to our beloved “Business”.
Daddy YouTube”. Many people find that the air on YouTube is rougher
after the general conditions had changed for monetization. In the past, everyone could monetize.
at least 1,000 subscribers since 2018 and have at least 4,000 hours of
so-called watchtime. So the time that the videos also watched
were. And not the watchtime, which Christian Lindner
spending the day in a mirror to and always sending kisses to himself. The change had consequences for many,
that they are no longer using their videos to make money. to earn a living. Whether this makes sense now anyway, is
once left to one side. The goal of our “Business Daddy YouTube”
was in the process of preventing it, above all, that so-called one-hit videos generate revenue
can. Because no advertising partner would like to be involved with a video
of a Holocaust denier who’s just trending, can be shown. Once, perhaps, apart from Bahlsen. And so our “Business Daddy” was headed up
the problem that his advertising partners are happy need high quality videos for
their advertising. Only exactly this quality control would have
our “business daddy” a bunch of I’ve tasted gravel. So why don’t you bridle the horse from the back.
and instead of now doing these quality controls yourself. our “business daddy”
which is easy with the new monetarization outsourced. Because by having a community of 1,000
subscribers and you have sufficient Watchtime generiest, you have proven the
To deliver quality so business daddy’s Advertising partners have a high-quality location
for their advertising. And for that YouTube didn’t even have a
Fingers crooked. But before we talk any more about our “business
Daddy”, we should watch where YouTube is right now. Not that he shows up behind me. We have spared no expense for that
and thanks to our good friends at the BND, the NSA and KFC, we have access to a surveillance satellite
from the ’70s. Accordingly, we can provide
See slides. So let’s take a look right now,
if our “business daddy” is still in his Desk at Alphabet sits … Okay, he’s already gone… can we
once to switch to the time clock to watch, if our “business daddy” has already stamped himself
has? … Ah yes, there’s his stamped card … somewhere
… I would have honestly thought that a company
like Alphabet, so “Business Daddys” Daddy is more modern … then we’ll see if our “Business
Daddy” is already at his car … have a picture of the parking lot? …okay, that’s probably the farthest now.
distant multi-storey car park that you can find at Alphabet. Didn’t think “Business Daddy
YouTube” is so unpopular with Alphabet, that he’s standing on the parking deck of Andromeda.
must … but that’s what gives us time for now.
to talk … And thus directly about the new certification process,
who’s supposed to come. Again. The new system should have been installed last year.
year, but known to have been introduced in the it became clear that per se, first of all.
“important” is to lose his little hook it was designed after a PR-technologically surprising
I moved the outcry. On probably right now. There was no outcry at the canal like the
CSYou from the CSU, because it turned out, that the CSU still has one or the other cross
with such weird angles in the basement. “Business Daddy YouTube” himself,
that the problem behind the previous verification checkmark is that many people believe that it is not
only the channel was verified as real, but also its contents. If that were the case, then all Germans would have
be really too stupid to get a proper line with eyeliner, one would Bibbbi
or Dagit or Walulis as a yardstick. The background for a new verification system
but that “Business Daddy YouTube” also get rid of some of the legacy
wanted to. Namely channels that are now not so super
are advertising friendly. With the new system, it should even be so far
that these channels can also be used at the searches are preferred. Although I thought that the problem so far
was that people would check the box for a validation of the content. The new system, but it’s supposed to change that,
the search will now display the contents of the verified channels prefer, whether these
are now valid or not. Isn’t it like I’m in the middle of something
shoot one leg and shoot the other. Leg not jealous will also be in the other? The new system is supposed to bring in more coal. And at the same time prefer the big ones. Cause right now, they’re just
Advertising works best. It’s just a way of suppressing one’s own
Offspring. Or drive it even more into questionable
Networks … But let’s see where our business is going
Daddy’s just now and that’s what we’re gonna do to his parking, on parking deck Andromeda
… And it seems that “Business Daddy” is now
YouTube” on the way home …. Do we have any pictures of the freeway?
that he’s supposed to be taking? … okay, this is another mega traffic jam
…would have “Business Daddy YouTube” I’d rather take the shuttle bus, the alphabet.
to all of his employees … have we have a picture of it, too? … and the party is really going on … but it’ll give us a few more minutes,
before Business Daddy YouTube catches us. … And let’s talk about the comment thing.
… For many children’s channels the following will apply soon
“You can’t get up here with that comment.” because this is where YouTube wants the comment function
per se. These channels are mostly used by parents
together with their children. That is, there is at least one adult
who can then explain it to her parents, how YouTube works at all. And when the parents understand that,
videos will be posted. But here it would be all the more annoying if
you don’t write any more comments now can. Because that is also part of how YouTube is used:
Bullshit comments and dislikes up to the get-together. There are parents who don’t want their child to have that.
so it doesn’t get in the Bibbi bubble. I have to grow up with. And I’m still hoping today that my mother
that also explains once in a while. Only then how pointless is it, there are no comments
to let you do this anymore? But that also fits in with the other point, namely
that YouTube is deleting more and more comments, that weren’t even remotely bad. It was with me once, too, when a comment
the word “puddle.” There was no one committed themselves and the
German equivalent to the picturesque Puki meant… but really a “puddle”. So either it’s rain or what’s going on
always collects under Axel Voss, when the print lobby announces himself for Mondays. And here’s my question rather “Business Daddy
YouTube”, how should I answer a person, who in a commentary called me “dirty
Jews”, with which you do not have a problem. had to let that through? But my answer to the fact that I have not yet
once belong to the Jewish faith, then Delete? There’s a mistake in the Matrix somewhere,
or you are the mistake in the matrix “Business Daddy YouTube”. And that brings us slowly to the final … times
see what “Business Daddy YouTube” just doing … But before that, we’ll have another quick look,
if our “Business Daddy YouTube” finally has arrived home … Oh, yes, here his car is already in the garage.
…just where’s “Business Daddy YouTube”? …can we get the rooms through? … Okay, not in the kitchen. maybe in
Study? …no either … maybe he’s in the
Changing room? … Not even… but that chest of drawers there… can be
we could see the dresser better sometime? … where the compartment is open with its belts
…and a belt is missing … I have a suspicion… why don’t we just switch
into the bedroom … Holy shit!!!! I hope we’re censoring all this,
but I still like to describe it once … “Business daddy YouTube” is about to be
really neat from Business Lady YouTube. spank the ass …. And before it gets any weirder … come
we’d rather go to the finale … So let’s sum it up. You have to do the quality control so that
YouTube thanks to you advertising partner with advertising-friendly I can supply videos. You have to prove that you’re not a cop outside the city.
of YouTube, you want to continue be certified. That’s kind of like the CIA
to a jihadist: “Okay, so you’re with IS. Do you have any proof of that? Anyone can say that. Maybe a link to your LinkedIn profile? Or a reference from your previous employer
named Al Qaeda? It’d be really nice if she could give us another
I could send you some data. Not that the drone will get the wrong guy!” Comments will then be deactivated or deleted. Not because they’re dangerous.
some algorithm can make an animal at the Waffle has. We’re all here for Business Daddy.
YouTube” is just a cost factor. Servers are not cheap, but you need a
Business Daddy” also do some overtime. But you… you’re the only person who can
that can change. Namely by not being so horny at first.
the monetization. Cause then you’re just Business Daddy YouTubes.
little bitch. You gotta get the money out there.
and “Business Daddy YouTube” is throwing you then just a few crumbs. But woe betide you for making unadvertising content! So why pant after him? Because the “business baby” here makes it
different. I’m causing YouTube costs. With every view, with every subscription, with every Like
and even more with every Dislike and with every comment. Without Business Daddy YouTube
something wins. Does it piss me off that my own comments
deleted? But hello, but I always say to myself.
it’s free for now here … yet. And on the other hand, it’s my job as a “Business
Baby” the “Business Daddy” beastly to get on the sack. Otherwise, criticism from us will be heard for
our “Business Daddy” not differently as if alphabet to him at the desk
and kicks it and talks it all over again: – So go out there and maybe subscribe
one or the other smaller channel, the You have always found good and support
that one. Sure, you can continue to support me.
and maybe write in the comments, what you’re thinking. We’re still the backbone of YouTube. Because with 500 million channels, with increasing
tendency, we always make more than one Pair of “Business Daddy YouTubes” favorites. YouTube earns its money with us, too. And that our “business daddy” was right
a lot of bullshit, also has “business”. Daddy’s” Daddy Alphabet recognized, otherwise
he wouldn’t have had such a shitty parking lot on the parking deck “Andromeda”. That was it again from the SHOW for today. But don’t worry, we’ll meet again at the
Friday with the LATELY NEWS. Until then…
A good night and … good luck out there … – The LATELY SHOW with Florian Strzeletz
Join, and subscribe