Annoying Orange – Comedy ClubbingOn December 25, 2019 by Raul Dinwiddie
-Boy, oh, boy, let me tell you about my ex-wife. My ex-wife wanted to be an actress, but I tell you, she’s so ugly, she couldn’t even get a part in a hot dog. [rimshot] Hey-oh! -Man, this is so exciting. I’ve been dying to come to this comedy club. -Yeah, me too. -Whoa, Midget Apple. -That’s Little Apple! -What are you doing back there? -I’m trying to watch the show, but you’re blocking my view. -Maybe that’s why they call it “stand-up.” [both laugh] -[groans] -She’s stupid, too. You wanna know how stupid? She thought a sirloin was a knight. [rimshot] Ho! -Was that supposed to be funny? -Just give him a chance, okay? -Oh, is she a lowsy driver. Just last week, she T-boned my car. [rimshot] [crickets chirp] -I don’t know why we had to come to this place to laugh. I’m way funnier than this meatball. -Hey, doo-da-dip, zip the lip. -Hey, do-da-daff, make me laugh. [laughs] -Dude, knock it off. Now he’s gonna pick on us. -All right, looks like we got another comedian here, folks. What’s your name, huh? Bozo. [rimshot] He-he-hey! -I’m not Bozo, I’m an orange. -Well, thanks a lot, Captain Obvious. [rimshot] -No problem, Major Meatball. [laughs] -Oh, so you wanna see a joke, huh? Quick, somebody get this guy a mirror. [rimshot] He-hey! -Really? That’s all you got? -And what about your little buddy there? -That’s Little Apple! -Not you, munchkin. The other guy. -Whoa, leave me out of this. -Boy, does this guy need some exercise. He’s looking a little pear-shaped. [rimshot] -Dude, I am a pear. -Yeah, a pair of jokers. [rimshot] Ho-ho! -Wow, did you ever notice that Meatball’s a real ham-burger? [rimshot, laughs] -Orange, you are so stupid, you thought photosynthesis had something to do with a camera. [rimshot] -Yeah, well you’re so dumb, you tried to go fishing in a gravy boat. [rimshot, laughs] -[groans] Can we go home now? -What? You guys don’t wanna leave already, do you? -(Pear and Midget Apple) Yes. -Why don’t you make like a hockey stick and get the puck out of here? [rimshot] -But I’m totally winning. This guy’s dead meat. [rimshot, laughs] -Oh whatever, Orange. I’m the one “rinding” you down. [rimshot] He-hey! -Hey, hey Meatball. -What? -Hey, can I call you Chuck? -Uh… okay. -Hey, Chuck! Hey, hey Chuck! -What do you want now? -Guess what? -What? -Spatula. -Wha– [yelling] -Whoa! [Meatball groaning] Talk about a “patty” pooper. [rimshot, laughs] [groaning continues] -Ooh! -What’s that? I can’t hear you. Your delivery’s a little “flat.” [rimshot, laughs] [Meatball screams] -Ouch, that looked like it hurt. -Geez, all I wanted to do was laugh. What a letdown. -I’ll say. I’ve been staring at Orange’s butt all night. -Aw, poor Meatball. His show really got “panned.” [rimshot] [laughter] I guess Marty Meatball was all sizzle and no steak. [rimshot] [laughter] Can you guys believe he had a “beef” with me? [rimshot] [laughter] -Yeah, Spatula’s all like, “Can me have a cheeseburger?” [laughs] [record scratches, crickets chirp] [laughter, rimshot] Captioned by SpongeSebastian -Hey, hey Midget Apple. You should tell another one of your short jokes. -That’s little joke!